Letter to my son (one of MANY)

Dear Son,

I like to lean over you when you are sleeping to whisper in your ear and tell you that mama loves you. I always ask, gently in your ear, still softly like a watery murmur at the seep of a spring transforming slowly into a powerful river: 

You love mama?

You nod.

You nod…



And I wonder: Do you see me in your dreams holding you in a tight embrace and asking you for reassurance on your love for me? Do you know how much, in that moment, your head moving moves me?

Or do I interrupt one of your many nightly adventures climbing and conquering the world with my trembling voice?

I will never know.

But your quick nod, even as your mind flows into another world, shows no hesitation.

Sometimes, you even say it to me with your eyes kept shut and your slow inhalations. Those are my most peaceful nights where I know that if I do not wake, your words would stay with me forever.

And every night, I will whisper that I love you.

I love you

I love you

I love you


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